These results have exposed Macron’s presidential legitimacy (or lack thereof) as little more than an empty vote against the ‘far-right’.

Macron’s re-election proves the woke left has become the most ardent wing of a reactionary class which opposes all working-class concerns.

Be patient my British friends, we will join you outside of the EU prison, just not yet.

Under the Macron administration, the erosion of French nationhood has accelerated dramatically.

Many on the left will now feel dissuaded from voting in the second round.

Having witnessed voting dogs and pre-scripted debates, one may have been forgiven for believing that this election had reached its comedic apogee.

According to Mr Macron, he does not regard unjabbed Frenchies as full citizens, saying that a ‘irresponsible person’ (aka those who have not yet submitted to government coercion) ‘is not a citizen’.

Our political rulers hope that the current bluster about ‘anti-vaxxers’ will create a fog in which their inadequacies are hidden.